This movie I had seen with my friends in the theater and liked the quotes throughout the movie. The actors in this movie are Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Jack Black and others. The duration of the whole movie is 2 hours 18 minutes. Pretty long movie but the quotes below is from some of the scenes. Here are the quotes in the proper order of appearance:
Iris: I have found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." Oh! What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man [Looking at Jasper] for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and Valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I have been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.
Narrator: Amanda Woods is proud to present "The Life". She had it all, the job, the house, the guy. This holiday season find out what Amanda doesn't have.
Arthur Abbott: You know what I have been asking myself all night.
Iris: What? Why I am bothering you with all these questions?
Arthur: I am wondering, Why a beautiful girl like you would go to stranger's house for her Christmas vacation. And on top of that spend a Saturday night with an old ka-ka like me.
Iris: Well, I... I just wanted to get away from the people, I see all the time. Well not all the people, one person. I wanted to get away from one guy, an ex-boyfriend who just got engaged and forgot to tell me. I am Sorry!
Arthur: So he's a schmuck.
Iris: As a matter of fact, he is a huge Schmuck. How did you know?
Arthur: He let you go. This is not a hard one to figure out. Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.
Iris: You are so right. You are supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god's sake! Arthur, I have been going to a therapist for three years, and she's never explained anything to me that well. That was brilliant, brutal, but brilliant. Thank you.
Narrator: Amanda Woods! She pushed every guy away every time. Its not, Will she ever change because she want to!
Amanda: Surprise!
Graham: Yeah, it is! Hi!
Amanda: Hi! So I was home doing nothing and thinking of you and I have realised that a little complication never hurt anyone. And then I thought maybe this isn't so complicated at all. And also I wanted to apologize, I am sorry, I didn't invite you in this afternoon. I don't know what that was about exactly. But whatever it was, I thought that I should just...[listening to some noise from inside the house] Oh my god! You're not alone, are you?
Graham: No, not actually. I am sorry!
Amanda: No... no, no, no. don't be. I shouldn't have just... Oh my... Seriously you donot worry about this. This is just me like being stupid.
[Sophie appearing besides Graham at the door]
Sophie: Who is it, Daddy?
Amanda: Daddy??
Graham: Yes, I am daddy. Amanda, this is my daughter Sophie. Sophie, this is my friend Amanda.
Amanda: Hi!
Sophie: How do you do?
Amanda: I'm fine. Thank you. How are you?
Sophie: Very well. Thank you. Do you want to come in?
Amanda: Oh no. I just....
[Olivia appearing besides Graham at the door]
Olivia: Hi.
Graham: Come here [Taking Olivia in his arms]
Olivia: Daddy, who is this?
Graham: This is Amanda. And Amanda, this is my youngest, Olivia.
Amanda: Hmmm... Oh... Sophie, Olivia.
[Sophie tugging Graham's shirt]
Sophie: Dad... Dad...
Graham: Sorry, yes, ofcourse come in.
Sophie: Come in.
Amanda: Oh... Okay.
Olivia: Daddy, can we still have hot chocolate, please?
Graham: Yes
Olivia: with baby marshmallows?
Graham: Yes...
Sophie: Dad, take her coat.
Graham: Yes. May I, may I...
Amanda: Oh! Sure, thanks. [Whispering to Graham] You're married? Tell me fast?
Graham: No!
[After taking off Amanda's coat]
Olivia: Wow!
Amanda: I know, I'm a tad over dressed.
Olivia: You look like my Barbie.
Amanda: Thanks!
Olivia: Is that for us?
Amanda: Yes, except I'm sorry for the wine.
Graham: I apologise for not having mentioned this earlier.
Amanda: You're D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D?
Graham: W-I-D-O-W-E-R! Two years ago.
Amanda: Oh!!
Graham: Amanda, are you by any chance at all into hot chocolate?
Amanda: As a matter of fact, I am totally into it.
Graham: Here you go Olivia.
Olivia: Thank you.
Graham: Blow on it, its hot. You too Soph.
Sophie: [pointing at Olivia] She has more marshmallows than me.
Graham: No, she doesn't. You each have five. [To Amanda] You have five too.
Amanda: Thank you.
[All giggling at Amanda due to the Milk moustache]
Amanda: What? Do I have something on my lip?
Sophie: Look there.
Amanda: O-O!
[Graham letting Olivia to sit on his lap]
Graham: Hello!
Olivia: Hello! Blow on mine.
[Hot chocolate spilling on Grahams clothes]
Graham: Aah!! Thank you. Excellent timing.
Olivia: Dad, do Mr. Napkinhead?
Graham: No. No. No.
Olivia and Sophie: Please... Do it.
Graham: Please? Okay, I'll do it quickly.
[Olivia kisses him on cheek]
Graham: Oh, thank you for that.
Olivia: You are welcome. Now do it.
Graham: Alright. Amanda, may I borrow your napkin please. Oh! [To Olivia] You pass me those glasses when I need them.
Sophie: Amanda. You are gonna love this. Its so funny. I mean don't miss your full chance for it.
Sophie: Amanda, guess what. We have a tent in our room.
Graham: No. No. Amanda will not be called into your tent.
Olivia: You don't like tents.
[Entering Sophie's and Olivia's room]
Amanda: Ah! This is seriously cool.
Olivia: Come inside.
Amanda: Wow.
Olivia: Lie Down.
Sophie: Here Amanda, you can use my pillow.
Olivia: Lie down.
Graham: Can you stop being so bossy?
Olivia: Lie down please.
[Olivia burps]
Graham: Oh... Very nice...
Olivia: Excuse me.
Amanda: This is an exceptionally great tent.
Graham: It's got something, hasn't it.
Sophie: It's cozy.
Amanda: Yeah. Who cut out all these beautiful stars?
Sophie: We did.
Olivia: The three Musketeers.
Olivia: Amanda?
Amanda: Yes.
Olivia: You smell lovely.
Amanda: Do I?
Olivia: yes, I love perfume but he won't let me wear it.
Graham: Because you already smell so good. So do you by the way.
Amanda: Thanks. But I am older so I guess I am allowed.
Graham: Exactly.
Olivia: I like your Eye Shadow.
Amanda: Thank you.
Olivia: And your lips.
Amanda: Thank you. It's new.
Olivia: What's it called?
Amanda: I think its called Berrykiss.
Olivia: Then Berrykiss it is.
Sophie: [Whispering]Berrykiss.
Amanda: It looks good on you.[to Olivia]
Sophie: Amanda, you know if you wanted to sleep over, that would be alright. We can push our beds together.
Amanda: That's so sweet of you to invite me, but maybe another time, will that be alright?
Sophie: Yes.
Graham: Too good [whispering to Sophie]
Olivia: We never have grownups here that are girls.
Sophie: I know.
Olivia: I really like it.
Sophie: Me too.
[Graham entering the study where Amanda is]
Graham: I can't imagine anyone being a bigger hit with my children.
Amanda: They are really great, Graham!
Graham: Sophie has unfortunately taken over the role of my protector. She's brilliant but I hate it when she worries about me. And Olivia is going to be a real bore buster which I must admit I kind of love about her.
Amanda: I am just trying to figure out why you didn't tell me about them.
Graham: Because I just don't usually tell women about them.
Amanda: But its just a little confusing because your the one who wanted to go out to lunch to know one another.
Graham: Oh! When you put it that way, it sounds awful. I have no defense except that until i get to know someone really well, it's easier for me to be a normal, single guy; because it is way too complicated to be who I really am. I'm a full-time dad. I'm a working parent. I'm a mother and a father. I'm a guy who reads parenting books and cookbooks before I go to sleep. I spend my weekends buying tutus. I'm learning to sew. I'm Mr. Napkin Head! I want some kind of constant overload and it helps to compartmentalise my life, just till i figure this out. This past weekend, the children were with their grandparents and when they are gone, i get to be somebody who doesn't have hot chocolate spill on his jeans. I have no idea how to date and be this. And I suppose there is, the possibility I am afraid of what another person might do to what we are and how we get from one day to the next.
Amanda: Yeah! I guess since I am leaving in a week, I so get you not telling me through.
Graham: I thought it would be hard to introduce them to someone I may never see again.
Amanda: Right! Because I am just someone you had sex with once and slept with twice.
Graham: Actually, I thought I was just someone you had sex with once and slept with twice.
Amanda: Oh man. We just went way past complicated.
Graham: Right, I am a book editor from London and you are a beautiful Movie trailer maker from L.A. We are worlds apart. I have a cow in the backyard.
Amanda: You have a cow!
Graham: Yeah. I sew and I have a cow. How is that for 'hard to relate to'?
Amanda: Pretty up there.
Graham: Exactly.
Iris: [Iris answers telephone] Hello?
Graham: So are you ever coming home?
Iris: Oh, my God, hi.
Graham: How's it going?
Iris: Great. I met a really nice guy.
Graham: See? And you said you'd never. What's he like?
Iris: He's really cute. I feel great when I'm with him, which is an entirely new experience. And he's about ninety years old.
Graham: Come on.
Iris: He's my next-door neighbor. Or Amanda's next-door neighbor. By the way you should pop over and meet her.
Graham: Yeah, I have, actually.
Iris: [Call waiting beeps] Oh, bugger. Call waiting. Can you hold for a sec? Hold on. I really wanna talk to you.
Graham: Sure.
Iris: [Iris switches to other call] Hello?
Amanda: Iris, hi, it's Amanda.
Iris: How are you? How's it going?
Amanda: Everything's great. How are you?
Iris: Oh, I'm loving it. Listen, can you hold for a sec? My brother's on the other line.
Amanda: Graham?
Iris: Yes. He said you met.
Amanda: Yes, we did meet. How is he?
Iris: Fine, I think. Can you just hold on for a sec?
Amanda: Sure.
Iris: [Iris switches calls] Okay. Hi, sorry. That was Amanda.
Graham: How'd she sound? How's she doing?
Iris: She just asked me how you are.
Graham: And what did you say?
Iris: I asked her to hold. Can I call you back?
Graham: I can hold while you speak to her.
Iris: Really?
Graham: Find out how she is.
Iris: Okay.
[Iris switches call]
Iris: My brother wants to know how you are.
Amanda: Can you tell him I'm good and that I'm just taking Charlie for a walk in the village. Um, what's he been up to? Did he say?
Iris: I'm not sure. Do you want me to ask him?
Amanda: Uh, sure.
Iris: Okay. Hold please.
[Iris switches call again]
Iris: I can't believe that you have had sex with the woman staying in my house!
Amanda: [Gasps] He told you that?
Iris: Oh, my God!
Amanda: Oh, my God!
Iris: Oh, my God! I thought I was talking to Graham! Can you just hold, please? I'm terribly sorry.
[Iris switches calls again]
Iris: I can't believe you had sex with Amanda! The one thing she asked me was, 'Are there any men in your town?', and I assured her that there were not. And then you meet her and immediately get into her knickers!
Amanda: Still me.
Iris: Bollocks! I must have lost him. Amanda, I am so sorry.
[Call waiting beeps]
Iris: Can I call you back?
Amanda: Sure.
Iris: Okay, bye.
Miles: Why do I always fall for the bad girl?
Iris: You didn't know that she was a bad girl.
Miles: I knew she wasn't good. [When being offered coffee] Do you have anything, a little bit stronger? [Now receiving the drink] Thank you. Let me rephrase this. Why am I attracted to a person I know isn't good?
Iris: I happen to know the answer to this. Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you.
Miles: Exactly, and on top of that there's the old standby, I can't believe a girl like that would actually be with a guy like me. You know what she said to me tonight. She said, she finished in Santa Fe after 2 days and is being staying with whatever his name was; which means, she's been right here in town; which means when I spoke to her this morning on her cell and she said "I am looking out of my window and its snowing". She was in Santa Monica. What did she do, go to weather.com. That must have made both of them scream with laughter. In the meantime, I sent her Christmas gift to Saint Fe yesterday. I stood in line at Fed Ex, made sure she got it on time. Uh! Classic, right? Look I don't want to ruin your Christmas Eve. You don't have to listen to this.
Iris: It's okay. I like the company. So how about some food? Shall I make us a little Christmas Petrocheni.
Miles: Sure
Iris: Listen, I know its hard to believe people when they say "I know how you feel". But I actually know how you feel. You see, I was seeing someone back in London. We work for the same newspaper and then I found out that he was also seeing this other girl, Sarah from the circulation department on the 19th floor. Turned out that he was not in love with me like I thought. What I am trying to say is, I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.
Miles: Phoof!!! What the F***? You need this more than I do. That's what your doing here, your getting over somebody.
Iris: Yeah! This is me in good shape.
Miles: Is this the guy who send you pages from his novel?
Iris: Yeah. He needs me.
Miles: So he stays in touch?
Iris: All the time.
Miles: So that makes it impossible to forget him; Which is great for him but sucks for you.
Iris: You see how great your life is compared to mine.
Miles: Okay, let's go. I making you some Petrochine. It is Christmas Eve and we are going to sit out on the Italia, make us a little fire, pop us a bubbly. We are going to celebrate being young and being alive. You with me, Simpkins?
Iris: Miles. You really are an incredibly decent man.
Miles: I know. It's always been my problem.
Jasper: You know what I was thinking? When you get back to London, maybe we could sneak off somewhere together. Maybe Venice. You and me in Venice could be good.
Iris: Do you mean that? I mean, are you free to do that?
Jasper: Darling, I've just traveled halfway across the world to see you, haven't I?
Iris: [Iris & Jasper almost kiss before Iris pulls away] Yeah, that doesn't exactly answer my questions. So, are you not with Sarah anymore? I mean, is that what you've come here to tell me?
Jasper: I wish you could just accept knowing how confused I am about all this.
Iris: Okay, let me translate that. So, you are still engaged to be married?
Jasper: Yes, but, I mean -
Iris: Oh, my God.
[Iris gets up from the couch]
Iris: This was a really close call. You know, I never thought I'd say this, literally never, but I think you were absolutely right about us. Very square peg, very round hole.
Jasper: You cannot mean that.
Iris: The great thing is I actually do. And I'm about three years late in telling you this, but nevertheless I need to say it. Jasper. Wait, I need the lights on. Jasper, you have never treated me right. Ever.
Jasper: Oh, babe.
Iris: Shush. You broke my heart. And you acted like somehow it was my fault, my misunderstanding, and I was too in love with you to ever be mad at you, so I just punished myself! For years! But you waltzing in here on my lovely Christmas holiday, and telling me that you don't want to loose me whilst you're about to get MARRIED, somehow newly entitles me to say, it's over. This - This twisted, toxic THING between us, is finally finished! I'm miraculously done being in love with you! Ha! I've got a life to start living.
[Picks up Jasper's jacket, walking to the door]
Iris: And you're not going to be in it.
Jasper: Darling.
Iris: Now I've got somewhere really important to be, and you have got to get the hell out.
[Opens the door]
Iris: Now!
Jasper: What exactly has got into you?
Iris: I don't know.
[Pushes Jasper out the door]
Iris: But I think what I've got is something slightly resembling, gumption.
[Slams door shut in Jasper's face. Lifts hands up and screams with joy]
Arthur Abbott: Iris, your a knockout.
Iris: Thank you. And may I say so are you.
Arthur Abbott: Did I do my tie okay? I have not worn one in 15 years.
Iris: Perfect!
Arthur Abbott: I like this Hugo Boss. He cuts a nice suit. I've got something for you.
[Picks up a corsage]
Iris: [Touched] Oh.
Arthur Abbott: Forgive me. The last time I had a date, this.. this is what we did.
Iris: It's beautiful.
[Kisses Arthur on the cheek]
Arthur Abbott: If it's corny, or if it's going to ruin your outfit, you don't have to wear it.
Iris: [Iris puts the corsage on her wrist] I like corny.
[Takes Arthur's hands]
Iris: I'm looking for corny in my life.
Arthur Abbott: That's a nice line.
Iris: It's all those movies!
Arthur Abbott: Okay, let's do it. Let's get this embarrassment over with.
Arthur Abbott: [Reaches stairs to stage, Miles's theme music comes on] I'll do it.
[Climbs up stairs, give Iris a thumbs up at the top]
Arthur Abbott: [Addressing the audience] Thank you. Thank you, thank you. I'm absolutely overwhelmed... that I could climb those stairs.
[Audience laughs]
Arthur Abbott: I came to Hollywood over 60 years ago, and immediately fell in love with motion pictures. And it's a love affair that's lasted a lifetime. When I first arrived in Tinseltown, there were no cineplexes or multiplexes. No such thing as a Blockbuster or DVD. I was here before conglomerates owned the studios. Before pictures had special effects teams. And definitely before box office results were reported like baseball scores on the nightly news.
Narrator: Amanda Woods! Welcome back.